The Rainy Day Rendezvous: Navigating Love and Puddles in Manila’s Monsoon
When Manila’s Monsoons Play Cupid with a Twist of Humor and H2O Love Under the Clouds In the heart of Metro Manila, the monsoon season doesn’t just bring rain; it brings a deluge of dating dilemmas and opportunities. Imagine planning…
The Sacred Geography of the *Tambay* Chair: Mapping the Power Centers of Barangay Loitering
A satirical social study on the ubiquitous plastic chairs occupied by loiterers (*tambay*), treating their arrangement and ownership as a highly significant, sacred map of local social power. The Throne of Leisure In every Quezon City barangay, the plastic chairusually…
People Who Smell Like Etsy – Screw the News
When Artisanal Becomes Your Entire Personality A new olfactory phenomenon has emerged in Los Angeles coffee shops and farmers markets: people who smell like they were assembled from Etsy search results. These fragrant individuals emit a carefully curated bouquet of…
DMV Opens Special Window for Cebu-Bound Retirees, Wait Time 11 Hours – Screw the News
A Van Nuys clerk says every applicant brings a binder, a reference and a feeling that something is being held against them DMV Opens Special Window for Cebu-Bound Retirees, Wait Time 11 Hours A Van Nuys clerk says every applicant…
Los Angeles Notaries Report Boom in Retiree Affidavits – Screw the News
A Koreatown notary says business is up 300 percent since foreign buyers began swearing they are the right people Los Angeles Notaries Report Boom in Retiree Affidavits A Koreatown notary says business is up 300 percent since foreign buyers began…
Surf Forecasters Add Reputation Index to Cebu Reports – Surfing LA
A new column in the daily swell report ranks beaches by wave height, wind direction and how nervous the neighbours are Surf Forecasters Add Reputation Index to Cebu Reports Meteorologists in Costa Mesa say the daily swell report is incomplete…
Dana Point Priest Blesses Boards, Declines Reference Letters – Surfing LA
Annual harbor blessing turns into a referendum on whether clergy should be vouching for retirees abroad Dana Point Priest Blesses Boards, Declines Reference Letters Father Anselm Quigley says he will bless any surfboard but cannot confirm what the owner has…
San Onofre Neighbours Say Cebu Has No Stigma Problem – Surfing LA
Residents who live beside a decommissioned nuclear plant offer to share their coping techniques with Mactan brokers San Onofre Neighbours Say Cebu Has No Stigma Problem Residents of a beach community beside a shuttered nuclear plant offer free advice to…
University Problems: The Rural Student’s Guide to Surviving Manila’s School Scene
The Essential Survival Guide: Navigating Manila’s University Life as a Rural Student Welcome to the ultimate survival guide for the rural student thrust into the whirlwind of Manila’s educational system. Forget about pastoral peace; it’s time to navigate the concrete…
The Roommate Chore Evasion Field: Why Dirty Dishes Multiply By 127% Only In Their Presence
A satire on shared living disasters and the unequal distribution of chores, arguing that the messy roommate emits a Chore Evasion Field that accelerates the accumulation of shared filth by 127% when they are home. The Chore Evasion Field Shared…