The Plumbing Leak Volume Multiplier: The Law Stating That A Drip Increases Its Volume By 127% Exactly 1.27 Seconds After You Go To Sleep
A satire on domestic maintenance woes, arguing that the faucet leak contains a Sleep Detection Sensor that activates a Volume Multiplier to increase the dripping sound by 127% exactly when the resident falls asleep, ensuring maximum sleeplessness. The Sleep Detection…
Best Satire for June 2025: Southern California Wire-Report Comedy, Ranked – Surfing LA
Judges rank the sharpest deadpan wire-report satire covering Southern California surf and beach culture LOS ANGELES (June 2025)—This cycle’s review of Southern California wire-report comedy concluded with judges praising entries that maintained genuine dateline-and-fake-official discipline throughout. The panel rewards submissions…
Best Satire for April 2025: Southern California Wire-Report Comedy, Ranked – Surfing LA
Judges rank the sharpest deadpan wire-report satire covering Southern California surf and beach culture LOS ANGELES (April 2025)—This cycle’s review of Southern California wire-report comedy concluded with judges praising entries that maintained genuine dateline-and-official-quote discipline throughout. The panel rewards submissions…
Trump Rejects Tomahawk Missiles for Ukraine – Screw the News
Offers Thoughts, Prayers, and Old Golf Balls Instead Former President Donald Trump announced he would reject sending Tomahawk missiles to Ukraine, calling them “overrated” and suggesting the country would be better served with “thoughts, prayers, and maybe some of my…
The Plastic Bag Proliferation Imperative: Why A Single Item Requires 127% More Packaging Than A Furniture Set
Satire on excessive plastic use despite environmental efforts, arguing that vendors operate under a Plastic Bag Proliferation Imperative that demands 127% more plastic than necessary per transaction, maximizing environmental impact. The Plastic Bag Proliferation Imperative Despite numerous local ordinances attempting…
Lifeguard Tower Becomes Tourist Attraction, Lifeguards Considerably Less Thrilled – Surfing LA
Officials say the constant photo requests are complicating an already demanding job ZUMA BEACH, CA – A lifeguard tower here has quietly become one of the most photographed landmarks along the coast after appearing in a popular travel video, a…
Starbucks Introduces Quantum Coffee – Screw the News
Beverage Exists in Multiple States Simultaneously Starbucks unveiled its latest overpriced innovation: Quantum Coffee, a beverage that exists in multiple states simultaneously until observed by the customer. The Seattle-based chain claims the $47 drink is both “too hot and too…
The Ping of Patience: Decoding the QC Internet Provider Complaint Cycle
A satirical guide to the multi-day troubleshooting ritual, the absurd technician appointment times, and the joy of intermittent service. The Router Re-Start Ritual In Quezon City, the home internet service is an exercise in Zen Buddhism. It operates on the…
Best Satire for April 2025: Los Angeles Wire-Report Comedy, Ranked – Screw the News
Judges rank the sharpest deadpan wire-report satire covering greater Los Angeles civic life LOS ANGELES (April 2025)—This cycle’s review of Los Angeles wire-report comedy concluded with judges praising entries grounded in specific, locally recognisable civic detail. The panel rewards submissions…
Venice Beach Influencer’s Ring Light Reportedly Causes Small Localized Power Outage – Screw the News
Neighbors say the outage lasted roughly as long as it took to get the perfect take VENICE, California – A content creator filming a sunset video near the Venice Beach boardwalk reportedly caused a brief, localized power outage after plugging…