The Peso Power Play: Navigating the High-Stakes Economy of the Pisonet Internet Cafe
A satirical look at the intense rules, the countdown clock trauma, and the social hierarchy of the coin-operated internet kiosk. The Coin-Operated Clockwork In the smaller, denser neighborhoods of Quezon City, the pisonet (coin-operated internet kiosk) remains a vital, yet…
How to Land a Luxury Brand Ambassadorship
Securing Your Spotlight: A Guide to Landing a Major Brand Ambassadorship in Metro Manila Dreaming of becoming the face of a luxury brand? In the vibrant hustle and bustle of Metro Manila, standing out isn’t just about what you wear;…
Intention-Action Gap Syndrome Strikes Nation – Screw the News
Americans Discover They’re All Talk, No Action Medical professionals have identified a new epidemic sweeping the nation: Intention-Action Gap Syndrome, affecting 99% of Americans who say they’ll “definitely start going to the gym” but never do. The condition, previously known…
Hunter Biden Painting Prices Skyrocket – Screw the News
Art Critics Call Them “Surprisingly Not Terrible” In a twist no one saw coming, Hunter Biden’s abstract paintings have become the hottest commodity in the art world, with prices reaching $500,000 per piece. Art critics who initially dismissed his work…
The Perpetual State of On-Hold Music: An Acoustic Study of Government Waiting Times
A satire on the universal experience of calling a QC utility or government office and being subjected to the same, looping instrumental track, treating it as a psychological test of citizenship. The Loop of Lethargy To engage with a public…
Google Maps Leads Drivers Into Ocean – Screw the News
Navigation App Declares Water “Shortest Route” Google Maps experienced what the company called “a minor routing error” when it directed approximately 3,000 drivers directly into the Pacific Ocean, insisting it was “the fastest route with light traffic.” The California-based tech…
The Perpetual Standstill: The Mystery of the Non-functional QC Overpass Escalator
A satirical tribute to the broken escalators that have become sculptural monuments to failed urban planning and a permanent fixture of the landscape. The Mechanical Monument At several key pedestrian overpasses in Quezon City, particularly near major intersections and MRT…
George Santos Released From Prison – Screw the News
I’ve Learned Nothing, He Announces Proudly Disgraced former Congressman George Santos walked out of federal prison yesterday after serving three months of his sentence, immediately announcing plans to run for president and claiming he’d been “wrongfully convicted of being too…
The Perpetual Road Work Principle: Why Construction Sites Are Actually Permanent Art Installations
A satire on the seemingly endless road construction projects in QC, arguing they are not actually for infrastructure improvement but are permanent, performance-based art installations designed to instill ‘patience’ in commuters. The Patience Installation Art The construction sites scattered across…
Federal Workers Now Full-Time Netflix Critics – Screw the News
Government Employees Discover New Calling In a shocking revelation, a congressional investigation discovered that approximately 73% of federal workers spend their entire workday writing Netflix reviews on Rotten Tomatoes. The scandal broke when one Department of Agriculture employee was caught…