National Transportation Safety Board Investigates Why Everyone Still Alive – Screw the News
Statistical Anomaly Puzzles Experts The Los Angeles-based National Transportation Safety Board has launched an investigation into the statistical improbability that American transportation infrastructure hasn’t completely collapsed despite decades of deferred maintenance, budget cuts, and the general sense that everything is…
Breaking Ground in Manila: First Building Designed to Lean Before Construction Starts
Breaking Ground in Manila: When Buildings Lean Into the Future A New Angle on Architecture In a world where straight lines dominate, Manila has taken a bold step – or lean – into the architectural unknown. This leaning tower isn’t…
PAGASA Upgrades El Nino to Very Strong, Thesaurus Placed on Standby
With Angat’s allocation trimmed to 44 cubic meters per second, Metro Manila is assured the situation is precautionary, the word officials use just before the word they mean. QUEZON CITY, Philippines (ManilaNews.PH) – The state weather bureau has raised the…
The Shadow Market of Stolen Slippers: A Criminological Study of the *Tsinelas* Bandit in the Barangay
A satire on the strange, frequent disappearance of a single slipper (*tsinelas*) from the doorstep, treating it as a complex, organized crime and a study in local neighborhood paranoia. The One-Footed Crime In the quiet, residential barangays of Quezon City,…
Sacramento Braces for New Governor, 14 Propositions, One Calculator – Screw the News
State officials say the ballot was designed to be read in a single sitting, provided the sitting lasts through the next administration. SACRAMENTO, California (Screw The News) – The state capital entered its post-election recovery phase this week with a…
Darkness Wins Big in Los Angeles After Streetlight Fee Vote Fails – Screw the News
With roughly 80 percent of ballots against paying to fix the lights, the dark has secured its strongest mandate in city history. VAN NUYS, California (Screw The News) – The long and unlit campaign to keep Los Angeles in the…
Fresno Almond Growers Wanted Fewer Almonds, Now Fear They Got Them – Screw the News
Shrinking orchards have lifted prices, triggering a Valley-wide crisis of people who are no longer sure what to complain about. FRESNO, California (Screw The News) – Central Valley almond growers have been granted their wish of a tighter supply and…
Per My Last Email Now Top Cause of Workplace Rage – Screw the News
Violence Narrowly Avoided Daily According to Los Angeles workplace violence prevention studies that definitely exist, the phrase “per my last email” has overtaken printer jams and meeting invites as the leading cause of homicidal thoughts in professional settings. The passive-aggressive…
Peso Sinks Past 64 per Dollar as BSP Guards Its Secret Worry Number
The central bank says it knows exactly how bad things must get before it steps in, and it would prefer that nobody ask. MAKATI, Philippines (ManilaNews.PH) – The Philippine peso slid past 64 to the US dollar this week, and…
LRT-2 Down to 8 Trains as DOTr Studies Whether Buses Can Use Roads
Antipolo commuters received 20 discounted buses, a feasibility study, and the news that their train line will soon belong to somebody else. PASIG, Philippines (ManilaNews.PH) – Commuters on the LRT-2 line received a three-part relief package this week: 20 buses…