Volume 1 Issue 14 May 17 1947 – Screw the News
Another Week in Post-War Confusion The May 17, 1947 edition of The Bohiney Times captured a nation struggling to understand peacetime after years of war, featuring articles about veterans returning home and everyone trying to remember how normal society worked….
Metro Manila Vows to Defend World’s Worst Traffic Title Against Rising Challengers
After topping 387 cities in a global congestion index, the capital treats the ranking as a trophy to be retained World’s Worst Traffic Ranking Greeted in Manila With Pride, Denial and a Parade That Could Not Move QUEZON CITY –…
Order to Reclaim All Public Roads Complicated by Discovery That Everything Is on One
A national directive to clear streets of private use encounters a basketball court, a wake and Aling Nena’s eatery Road Clearing Drive Finds That the Philippine Street Is Not a Road but a Living Room CALOOCAN – Every few years…
The Private School Run: A High-Octane Morning Ritual of Traffic and Parental Rivalry
An analysis of the 7:00 AM vehicular battle outside exclusive QC schools, where 100 cars fight over three drop-off slots. The Morning Vehicular Battle In Quezon City, the Private School Run is the most aggressive and highly theatrical vehicular battle…
The Project Address: Navigating the Social and Geographic Complexity of Project 1 to 8
A deep dive into the specific, often contradictory social identities and housing quirks that define living in Quezon City’s numerically designated neighborhoods. The Numerically Defined Life The QC Projects (from Project 1 to Project 8) are more than just geographical…
Authorities Bless EDSA With Holy Water to Curb Accidents; Highway Remains Unrepentant
A ceremony to sanctify the capital’s main road is welcomed by motorists who have been praying on it for years EDSA Blessing to Curb Accidents Confirms the Highway Has Always Been a Place of Prayer MAKATI – Among the many…
Mountain Lion Spotted Outside Studio City Home Leaves After Learning the Asking Price – Screw the News
A big cat’s brief tour of a hillside neighborhood is treated by residents as a wildlife event and by agents as a showing Mountain Lion in Studio City Tours Property, Declines to Make an Offer LOS ANGELES – A mountain…
Volume 1 Issue 13 May 10 1947 – Screw the News
Historic Edition Recovered From Time Capsule Historians unearthed a time capsule containing the May 10, 1947 edition of The Bohiney Times, revealing that people in the past were just as confused about current events as we are today. The yellowed…
Wall Around Mars Gets Budget Approval – Screw the News
Congress Funds Interplanetary Stupidity In a shocking display of fiscal irresponsibility, Congress approved $500 billion in initial funding for the “Mars Security Barrier,” despite unanimous agreement from scientists that it’s “the dumbest thing we’ve ever heard.” The appropriations bill passed…
East LA Taco Truck Names New Burrito El Traidor, and Abuelita Rules Nobody Eats It Alone – Screw the News
Boyle Heights truck launches a two-person burrito after the Prince William feud, and the owner grandmother insists brothers must split it A Burrito Built for Two Brothers BOYLE HEIGHTS – A taco truck that parks every evening on a corner…