June Gloom Extends Contract Through September, Cites Strong Performance Reviews – Screw the News
Marine layer announces Fogust and Graytember as coastal residents defend the lid on the pot the county is boiling in June Gloom Extends Contract Through September, Cites Strong Performance Reviews LOS ANGELES – The marine layer known professionally as June…
In-N-Out Line Achieves Statehood Requirements, Petitions for Congressional Representation – Screw the News
Forty-page filing cites stable borders, full employment at both windows, and 99.7 percent legal compliance enforced by glance In-N-Out Line Achieves Statehood Requirements, Petitions for Congressional Representation LOS ANGELES – The drive-thru line at a flagship In-N-Out location formally petitioned…
Erewhon Debuts 40 Dollar Smoothie Containing Nothing, Sells Out by Noon – Screw the News
The Void offers zero ingredients, a blessed lid, and glacial intention as resale prices hit 70 dollars, condition full Erewhon Debuts 40 Dollar Smoothie Containing Nothing, Sells Out by Noon LOS ANGELES – The luxury grocer Erewhon unveiled its most…
The 405 Granted Protected Wilderness Status as Scientists Confirm Traffic Now Self-Sustaining Ecosystem – Screw the News
Phantom jams propagate like whale song as researchers track a Camry that has grazed the Sepulveda Pass for six weeks The 405 Granted Protected Wilderness Status as Scientists Confirm Traffic Now Self-Sustaining Ecosystem LOS ANGELES – State environmental officials granted…
Hollywood Executive Greenlights First Project in Three Years After Hearing Pitch Described as Nothing Meets Nothing – Screw the News
Original tow yard drama survives requests to be Marvel-adjacent as town instantly franchises the concept of nothing Hollywood Executive Greenlights First Project in Three Years After Hearing Pitch Described as Nothing Meets Nothing LOS ANGELES – A senior studio executive…
San Onofre Longboarders Form Union, Demand Collective Bargaining Rights on Party Waves – Surfing LA
Local 1 votes 847 to 3, sets fish taco overtime rates, and announces the reverse strike known as the general shimmer San Onofre Longboarders Form Union, Demand Collective Bargaining Rights on Party Waves SAN CLEMENTE, Calif. – The longboarders of…
Huntington Beach Declares Wetsuit Tan Line Official Civic Emblem, Adds It to City Seal – Surfing LA
Heritage of the Line Act establishes Line Appreciation Day and a review board empowered to cite bronzer fraud Huntington Beach Declares Wetsuit Tan Line Official Civic Emblem, Adds It to City Seal HUNTINGTON BEACH, Calif. – The Huntington Beach City…
Topanga Surfer Sues Surf Forecast Site for Emotional Damages After Flat Spell Lasts 31 Days – Surfing LA
Lawsuit alleges negligent infliction of hope as the promised swell stayed perpetually seven days away Topanga Surfer Sues Surf Forecast Site for Emotional Damages After Flat Spell Lasts 31 Days LOS ANGELES – A Topanga surfer filed suit in Los…
Palos Verdes Homeowner Files Noise Complaint Against the Pacific Ocean – Surfing LA
Bluff-top resident demands wave service be limited to business hours, submits 400 hours of audio evidence Palos Verdes Homeowner Files Noise Complaint Against the Pacific Ocean PALOS VERDES ESTATES, Calif. – A homeowner on Paseo Del Mar has filed a…
Big Wave Surfer Signs Historic Sponsorship Deal With His Own Anxiety – Surfing LA
Three-year, seven-figure agreement grants logo placement, heat strategy approval, and a bonus structure for hospital-free seasons Big Wave Surfer Signs Historic Sponsorship Deal With His Own Anxiety REDONDO BEACH, Calif. – Professional big wave surfer Kai Thornton, 29, announced Thursday…