LA Marathon Organizers Confirm Route Will Once Again Pass Through Neighborhood That Has Never Heard of the LA Marathon – Screw the News
Annual Race Traverses 26.2 Miles of Greater Los Angeles; Several Miles Traversed by People Who Did Not Know Today Was the Day Reported by Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat. LOS ANGELES, CA — Organizers of the Los Angeles Marathon…
California Budget Gap Returns; Governor Confirms It Was There the Whole Time, Just Expressing Itself Differently – Screw the News
Newsom Administration Announces Multi-Billion Dollar Shortfall That Analysts Say Was “Predictable” and Budget Office Says Was “Dynamic” Reported by Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat. SACRAMENTO, CA — Governor Gavin Newsom’s administration announced this week a revised state budget projection…
Westlake District Car Chase Ends With Driver Dancing Before Arrest; LAPD Describes It as “One of the Better Endings” – Screw the News
High-Speed Pursuit Concludes With Suspect’s Spontaneous Choreography Performance; Officers Unsure of Protocol Reported by Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat. LOS ANGELES, CA — A vehicle pursuit that began in the Westlake District Tuesday evening concluded when the driver stopped…
Speedy Tortoise Escapes Burning Shed in Fullerton; Described as “Quick-Moving” by Officials Who Have Never Met a Faster Tortoise – Screw the News
Reptile Makes Break for Freedom During Structure Fire; Fire Department Confirms It Was, in Fact, Moving Quite Fast Under the Circumstances Reported by Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat. FULLERTON, CA — A tortoise that escaped from a burning shed…
Michael Jackson Biopic Starring Nephew Approaches Record Debut; Nephew Reports Feeling “the Pressure of the Universe” – Screw the News
Jaafar Jackson Plays Uncle in Film Tracking King of Pop’s Early Career; Film Reportedly “Accurate,” “Emotional,” and “Very Long” Reported by Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat. HOLLYWOOD, CA — The Michael Jackson biopic, starring Jaafar Jackson — Michael’s nephew…
Here’s Everything You Need To Know Before Surfing Malibu
Follow Here’s Everything You Need To Know Before Surfing Malibu Jason Lock Sun, June 29, 2025 at 4:00 PM UTC 5 min read Add Yahoo as a preferred source to see more of our stories on Google. One of the…
Valenzuela Hotel Amenities
Free WiFi! and Other Promises of Valenzuela’s Hospitality Industry The Polo Park “Business Hotel” with the “High-Speed Internet” That Wasn’t A hotel in Polo Park advertises “High-Speed Internet for Business Travelers.” You check in, open your laptop for an urgent…
Pasay Nightlife: The Aggressively Neon Strip Where Every Sign Is Competing For Visual Dominance and Auditory Chaos
How The City Achieves Peak Sensory Aggression After Dark and Mistakes Volume For Enjoyment The Luminous Assault of The Night As the aggressively intense Pasay sun sets, the city aggressively transitions into its second, equally hostile environment: the neon-lit nightlife…
Parañaque Market Vendors Scale: The Vendor Who Claimed the Scale Was “Calibrated by the Full Moon”
Why Local Commerce Relies on Highly Questionable Measurement Tools and Mystical Justification Parañaque Market Vendors Scale: The Lunar Calibration The public market in Parañaque is a bustling, essential center of commerce, but the transaction process is often characterized by a…
Marikina Failed Attempts at Being a Magician: The High-Stakes Artistic Failure of Illusion Deviation and Unscheduled Transparency
A Study in Deception Protocol Breach, Reveal Asymmetry Anxiety, and the Non-Negotiable Structured Trick The Deception Protocol Breach Mandate In Marikina City, where trickery must be flawlessly controlled and perfectly predictable, a **Failed Attempt at Being a Magician** is not…