The Quantum State of the Water Supply: Why Water Pressure Only Exists When You Aren’t Showering
A satire on the inconsistent and unreliable water pressure in QC homes, treating it as a quantum phenomenon where pressure collapses the moment a conscious observer attempts to use it. The Observer Collapse Water pressure in many Quezon City residences…
The Quantum State of the Mall Parking Slot: It Only Appears When Youve Given Up Looking
A satire on the frustrating search for a parking space in a busy QC mall, treating the availability of the slot as a quantum event that only materializes the moment the driver has consciously resigned themselves to the furthest corner….
People Who Name Their Emotions After Weather Patterns – Screw the News
The Forecast for Your Feelings Therapy-speak has reached meteorological proportions, with a new generation of emotionally-aware individuals now treating their feelings like they’re reporting for Los Angeles morning news. “I’m experiencing a Category 3 anxiety system moving through my chest,”…
People Who Treat Pets Like Therapists – Screw the News
When Your Dog Becomes Your Mental Health Provider The mental health crisis in America has taken an unexpected turn, with millions of people now outsourcing their emotional processing to creatures who eat their own vomit and chase shadows. According to…
Downtown LA Film Club Screens Bootleg Chinese Cow Cartoon After Woman In Cow Costume Performs Striptease, Hollywood Studios Take Notes – Screw the News
A club that calls its events movie parties is packing Clifton’s with audiences who chant rewind, make their own posters and celebrate films that are entertaining, earnest and genuine, which is more than many studio releases manage Moo-vie Night DOWNTOWN….
The Quantum State of the *Pahinga* (Rest) Sign: Why It’s Only Visible When the Store is Open
A satire on the paradox of the small business ‘break’ sign, which, due to a quantum-like principle of observation, only becomes apparent when the break is over or the store is operational. The Observer Paradox Every small *sari-sari* store or…
EDSA Carries 450,000 Vehicles A Day On A Road Built For 300,000, MMDA Considers Asking Cars To Stack Vertically
Traffic volume on Metro Manila’s main artery runs 45 to 50 percent over capacity, and the agency says it is trying out different approaches, a phrase motorists have adopted as their life philosophy The Road That Ate Manila MANDALUYONG. EDSA,…
The Quantum Meter: Decoding the Tricycle Driver’s Unwritten Tariff Zone Map
A satirical look at the subjective, constantly shifting mental map used to determine ‘Special Trip’ prices based on the passenger’s aura and the time of day. The Special Trip Syndrome The tricycle is the backbone of short-haul transport in QC…
Shane Dorian Releases Free Surf Training Program, Southern California Dads Begin Week One Of Twelve With Great Optimism And A Pulled Hamstring – Surfing LA
The big-wave legend’s 12-week course targets strength, mobility, paddle endurance and pop-up speed in 30-minute sessions, prompting a fitness renaissance among surfers who last trained in 1998 Just Press Play, Then Lie Down NEWPORT BEACH. Big-wave surfer Shane Dorian has…
People Who Clap When Planes Land – Screw the News
The Applause Nobody Asked For In airports from Los Angeles to Boston, a peculiar species of air traveler continues to baffle sociologists and annoy literally everyone else: the plane-landing applauder. These enthusiastic passengers treat the basic execution of a pilot’s…