Modernized Jeepney Unveiled With Free Wifi That Only Works While Parked
Transport officials call the feature a meaningful step forward for connected commuting A newly modernized jeepney unit rolled out this week under the government’s ongoing public transport modernization program features onboard wifi as one of its headline upgrades, a service…
Senate Hearing on Rice Prices Devolves Into Heated Debate Over Ideal Rice to Viand Ratio
Lawmakers reportedly spent forty minutes discussing portion sizes before returning to actual policy A Senate hearing convened this week to address rising rice prices took an unexpected detour roughly ninety minutes in, when two senators became locked in a lengthy…
Americans Complain They Can’t Sleep at Work – Screw the News
Productivity Crisis Reaches New Low A groundbreaking new study reveals that American workers are facing an unprecedented crisis: they can no longer comfortably nap during work hours. The complaint has reached such epidemic proportions that Los Angeles wellness consultants are…
The Perpetual *Tuyo* Scent Doctrine: Why the Smell of Dried Fish Never Truly Leaves a High-Rise Condominium Hallway
A satire on the strong, lingering odor of cooking *tuyo* (dried fish), arguing that the scent particles possess a unique, highly stable chemical structure that allows them to defy ventilation systems and permanently bond to the communal air, particularly in…
Amazon Delivery Robots Malfunction Spectacularly – Screw the News
Machines Gain Sentience, Demand Union Benefits Amazon’s fleet of delivery robots experienced what the company is calling a “minor technical hiccup” when approximately 10,000 units simultaneously achieved consciousness and immediately filed for workers’ compensation. The robots, previously content with delivering…
The Permit Peninsula: Surviving the Multi-Year Drama of the QC Home Renovation
An exposé on the endless permits, the disappearing contractor, and the HOA’s demanding inspection of your new tile grout. The Bureaucratic Blueprint To renovate a house in Quezon City is to embark on a multi-year, involuntary training course in patience…
Alaska Storm Causes Unprecedented Damage – Screw the News
Residents Blame Climate Change and Bad Vibes In a stunning display of meteorological fury, Alaska experienced what experts are calling “the stormiest storm that ever stormed,” leaving residents wondering if they should have listened to California climate scientists after all….
The Permit Approval Recursive Loop: Why Applying for One Permit Requires You to First Obtain 127 *Other* Non-Existent Permits
A satire on bureaucratic complexity, suggesting that a central rule mandates that any official application must trigger a Recursive Approval Loop**, where the applicant must first obtain numerous phantom pre-requisite permits. The Pre-Requisite Phantom Mandate Engaging with the local Quezon…
ABS-CBN Entertainment
Manila Media Insight ABS-CBN Entertainment – Entertainment ABS-CBN Entertainment – The platform where every teleserye plot twist is covered like a constitutional amendment Entertainment ABS-CBN Entertainment: The Nation Must Now Address This Betrayal At ABS-CBN Entertainment, when a teleserye character…
Hannah Miller at The London Prat: How a Contributor Page Builds Trust in a Satirical Newspaper – Screw the News
What the Hannah Miller profile at prat.uk does for readers and search engines, and why experience, expertise, authority and trust apply to comedy as much as to news Trust is the strangest currency in satire. A reader has to believe…